Not Your Mama's Muppet Show: The Muppets Get Sex-Crazed for 2015

Who knew that I would be inspired to write about The Muppets twice within a few days? Yet here we are again...and by the way, I would hope that anyone who read my attack on Miss Piggy knows that I was (mostly) trying to be funny. Truth be told, I felt a little bad a couple of days after posting that, especially when I caught the wedding scene between Kermit and her at the end of The Muppets Take Manhattan on cable the other day. (Miss Piggy can be annoying but OK, she has her cute, redeeming moments, too.) Let's just hope she doesn't start using new boyfriend Josh Groban as her new karate practice dummy.

Anyways, from time to time we hear about how inappropriately sexualized a lot of things are becoming, particularly toys and clothing meant for children. For example, my generation of girls grew up with My Pretty Pony, pony dolls that actually looked like ponies. A few years ago, a new line of horse dolls was released under the name "Struts." If you think that name sounds too much like sluts, then you should see the dolls -- that look like the supermodel version of horses, with high heels, long manes, and -- I kid you not -- bikinis. We could go on and on all day about sexy clothing and Halloween costumes that exist for girls, sexy looking dolls, and what shows up on TV and in movies today. Now I'm hearing that the new ABC sitcom starring Jim Henson's creations set to premiere Tuesday night, The Muppets, is not immune to this trend. It's already causing a buzz for some of the adult imagery and behavior exhibited by...well, the muppets. 

Case in point -- the other day in my Miss Piggy post, I introduced you to Denise, Kermit's attractive new girlfriend (who has almond-shaped eyes like mine, which I think is hilarious.) Well, it turns out she's a pretty saucy little swine. Here she is making eyes at an older dude muppet while seductively performing fellatio on a pen:

Zoinks. And the old perv is nodding his head with approval...ha ha ha. (Actually, in that scene she's really looking at Kermit from across the board room.)

But that's not even really the most disturbing thing I'm hearing about the Muppets' new show. Sex between muppets...and sexy time between muppets and humans is implied. New York Magazine had this to say in their review of the series:

"One preview for the show includes Piggy telling her co-star [Topher] Grace, in advance of their date, 'Take a long nap, big boy, you’re really going to need your strength,' followed by an extended make-out session, which is observed by Gonzo, who murmurs, 'Cool … Go Topher,' as if mesmerized by man-on-Muppet porn."

You can judge for yourself by watching this preview of The Muppets posted by ABC -- the kissing scene in question begins shortly after the 5:00 mark. If it isn't awkward already, Grace responds to Miss Piggy's advances with, "I want more of that."



On a side note, it sounds like Miss Piggy gets around and lives up to her name. (I thought she was dating Josh Groban?) 

In that same clip it's revealed that Fozzie Bear has a human girlfriend and her father does not approve of his daughter's choice of a lover (icky, huh?) 

Maybe Fozzie is trying to emulate another sex-crazed bear with a craving for women, Ted. Man, it sounds like the Muppets are more than eager in 2015 to "get things started." Maybe that acronym I can't stand, MILF, now stands for "Muppet I'd Like to F---." It almost sounds like The Muppets want to compete with the cast of Avenue Q. 

I'm not going to lie -- I do plan on watching the show, partly now to see how far ABC can push this...but I must admit, I feel a bit sad, too. This is definitely not the Muppets I grew up with or my generation's children grew up with. I get that the producers want to make the show appealing to adults, but they accomplished that nicely without overly sexual content in the 2011 film The Muppets and again with last year's Muppets Most Wanted. 

It's one thing when Miss Piggy coos and flings herself at a male costar, but I think it's another thing to see one of them getting tongue-on-muppet action with her, or another muppet. I think back to a lot of the guest stars of The Muppet Show in the '70s...would Roger Moore had agreed to a script where he had to French kiss the pig? Or would Debbie Harry allow herself to be fondled by Fozzie? Hell, no. And how weird would it have felt, as a kid, to watch that?

One has to wonder what Jim Henson would think of this modern but kind of sleazy direction the Muppets are taking...on the other hand, his original intention for The Muppet Show was so that audiences of all ages could enjoy it. An early version of the show featuring his characters that aired was actually called Sex and Violence and took a more abstract tone compared to the series we would grow up on and love. I guess time will tell via ratings and any complaints what the viewers will think about The Muppets.

What do you think -- do you think they should keep The Muppets as innocent as they were during The Muppet Show? Or are we just being a bunch of old prudes?